It is becoming increasingly important an issue, and now it is considered beneficial to undergo pre-marital counseling. The Delhi Commission for Women has decided to pursue this angle. The Chairperson of DCW, Barkha Singh feels in the emerging scenario of divorces being on the rise, premarital counseling will be a good move.
She felt that the youngsters of today do not know all the aspects of marriage. They have to be counselled on all the issues that go into a marriage. Parents are out earning, they are not able to spend much time with their children. The children themselves are busy with their respective studies, pursuing their goals, trying to find their way in this competitive world, and getting a good grip on settling down.
They soon realize they are the age for marriage, and so get married. Especially in arranged marriages, the couples enter the portal of marriage with out any knowledge of what this phase in life holds for them. The spouses are earning well now, they have studied hard and gained a few laurels, and so adjustments and compromises are difficult for them.
All the areas in the marriage will leave them bewildered. In the financial area, either their parents handled everything for them earlier, or they were mature enough to handle it themselves. Now after marriage, there could be clashes, regarding money matters.
Then the problems of relatives, and in-laws handling will emerge. The younger generation is mostly from a small family, so interaction with too many relatives or interference from them will create a lot of unrest.
The basic living together, the various adjustments that has to be made between the spouses, all may lead to arguments, fights and sulks. Ego clashes will happen; the younger generation is a very aware lot. They will want their rights left intact.
The girls will be used to independent thinking and decision making, so having to consider another’s viewpoint will take time. Also they will prefer living away from in-laws, they will not appreciate control by in-laws. The boys will expect their wives to take care of their parents, handle the house, and want their wives to change their lifestyle. They may try to dominate their wives, insist on their wives not working long hours, have fewer friends, or even hand over the income to them.
The younger generation will not pay heed to the fact that communication is very important between spouses, that having an open communication channel can almost always resolve issues.
They must be made aware that respect for each other, and each other’s families are very important. Understanding of each other’s views and opinions, appreciating each other’s work and work schedules is also important. More and more youngsters are postponing having children; this does not go down well with the adults in the family.
There are a host of issues that need to be discussed before marriage. A host of issues have to be brought to the notice of these youngsters, and how they can handle them.